It just so happens that I am at the stage of life when all my friends are graduating from college, getting engaged, married, and having babies. There was a time when that was all I could think about. All I desired was to be married and have a family of my own. It's funny how over time that desire has changed. In my heart I still hope to one day experience those things, but for now I am as content as ever to watch all of my friends experience such joy while I live in Uganda.
Each day I am here is a learning experience. Each day God reveals more of his truth and love to me. Each day is an opportunity to discover more of his goodness. Each day I find myself falling more and more in love with him. Each day I trust him for protection and guidance. Each day I love life more and wouldn't change where I am or what God is doing.
There is nothing I love more than being the hands and feet of Jesus!
My desires have become his desires. I used to spend hours praying selfish prayers for God to give me the desires of my heart. Now when I look back I see how my heart was not in line with God's plans. My heart was seeking personal gain and I thought that my plans far exceeded God's plans. If I had been told three years ago that I would be living in Uganda I would not have believed it. More than likely I would have been opposed to that idea and run from it. But the Lord knew what it was going to take to get me here. He knew what I was going to have to experience to bring me to a place of surrendering to his plan. I am so thankful that he has brought me here. I am so grateful to be sitting here under my bug net typing this post. I can not imagine my life any other way at this point.
Instead of getting married and having babies of my own, I get to spend my time with sweet babies who have no one else to love them. I have the privilege to spend my time with those that Jesus looks down on with tremendous favor. I get to witness the love of Jesus through the hearts and lives of precious children here in Uganda. My life is not at all what I ever imagined. My life is not the norm. It is far from the typical 22 year old, American's life.
However, I can not imagine my life any other way!
I want to experience the fullness of God. I want to know his heart in a real way. I want to be his and be set apart for him. I want all who know me and see me to know that I belong to him and serve him. He is so worthy of our lives. He is the one who created us and knew us before he formed us in our mother's wombs. He hand picked us. We are the clay and he is the potter. Why not let him create a master piece? So often we try to take control and in turn allow for chaos and disaster. Why is it so hard to give God our everything? Why is it so easy to make the calls? Why do we not trust God to write the perfect story with our lives? Why do we fear that his plans will not be as good as our plans?
God is never one to disappoint. His plans are good. His promises are true and his word is a tool for us to use to guide us through this life. Everyone's life story is different. No two pasts are the same. Each ones future life here on earth will be unique. But those who believe and trust in Jesus as their savor have the common hope of eternity in heaven. What greater thing to look forward to than that. I know for me it makes living through difficult circumstances much easier.
So while my friends are all getting engaged, married and having babies I will rejoice with them and celebrate from afar. But as for me, I will remain in Uganda loving on sweet babies and experiencing the love of Christ in a tangible and intimate way. He is my everything and his children are precious. I feel privileged that he has called me to care for them and spend my time getting to truly experience love, first hand.
Some day I may get married and have babies of my own, but until then I will be more than content to love on the ones that the Lord has put in front of me now! (:
"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
Matthew 25:40
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