Not long after I returned home from Uganda I found myself in the hospital. God carried me through the entire journey unscathed, but just days after returning home I found myself sick with a cold and lung infection. It sounds worse than it really is. At times it can be frustrating, but honestly I am so used to it that it doesn't scare me. Once a few doses of IV antibiotics are pumped through my veins I am good to go and start to feel superb again.
While I was in the hospital God started to reveal his wild plan to me. Initially I took all of my NCLEX review books to study for my nursing boards, however as most of my nursing friends know, I rarely studied. I might as well have left the books at home because instead I found myself engrossed in a book called Kisses From Katie. For those of you who have not read it I would encourage you to buy it, rent it, barrow it, whatever it takes to get your hands on it. It is so good. Total tear jerker.
As I read the pages of the book I reminisced about Uganda. I could picture in my mind all of the things she was describing in the book. I missed the red dirt on my feet. I missed the children hanging all over me. I missed the smiles of sweet ones who I didn't even know their names. I missed the music and the food and the dancing. I missed the smells of food cooking on open fires, I missed the sound of vehicles honking their horns. I missed cuddling with babies and rubbing their sweet little heads. It was as if the book took me back to the most incredible experience of my life. The things that other people could not relate to or understand when I would tell them, this girl was describing in her book.
Then things got even crazier. Some of the scriptures that the Lord had shown me while I was in Uganda were the exact scriptures that the Lord had used to show Katie that she was to move to Uganda. Tell me that is not a coincidence. The Lord was starting to stir my heart at this point.
I had pictures of Uganda and sweet babies that ran across the screen saver of my computer while I was in the hospital. I had my bible open on my night stand. And I had my Ugandan bracelet on. Whenever doctors and nurses came into my room they were asking questions about all of those things. It was perfect conversation starters and an opportunity to share Jesus with people. I am not typically one to evangelize too much. I never wanted to "shove" my beliefs on anyone before. However, while I was in Uganda God showed me that this life is all about sharing his love and gift of salvation with people. It's not about shoving my beliefs on them. It's about showing them love and living in such a way that they see the fruit of the Lord in my life. God sacrificed his son to die on the cross for my sins and I can not be ashamed or afraid to tell the world that he loved us all that much. So while I was stuck in a hospital bed for two weeks God gave me the opportunity to really share with many people and attest to the amazing work he has done in my life.
A few weeks after leaving the hospital I was at home truly praying and seeking the Lord for direction. At this point I was behind the ball game getting my job applications in to near by hospitals and all of the new graduate nurse positions were filled. I was frustrated with myself for going to Uganda and taking my boards late and not putting myself in a good position to get a good job. However it was during that time that God really spoke to me and showed me that this life is not about having a great job that pays loads of money, it's not about having a fancy car, it's not about having my own apartment. This life is about serving God wholeheartedly and surrendering to the plans he has for our lives.
One night early in August I was reading the word and just begging God to direct my steps. I wanted him so badly to show me his plan and will for my life. I was reading and reading and reading and nothing seemed to jump out at me. I was searching and not finding. Then the Lord prompted me to go back to the scripture in Isaiah that he had used to guide me through my time of fasting from my medications while I was in Uganda the first time. It was then that I was blown away by what he showed me.
Isaiah 58:10-11 "and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always, he will satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will become like a well- watered garden. Like a spring whose waters never fail."
This was God's promise to me. It was as if it jumped off the page as I read it and pierced me in the heart. God was calling me to Uganda. God was going to restore my health in Uganda. He was going to satisfy all my needs and strengthen my frame….IF I chose to be obedient to him and spend my life among the poor and the hungry. Now it was my turn to decide. Would I be obedient or would I just continue in my comfortable and somewhat easy life? It was a battle. It was scary. It was unsettling. It was exciting. It was crazy. But ultimately I had peace knowing that God had given me absolutely clear direction to follow him to a sun- scorched land and to spend my time with the poor. My heart was already there. I left it in Uganda. Now it was just making the decision to pack up and go: leave my family and take up my cross and follow the one who was calling me.
I don't know if I am just speaking for myself, but often I doubt what God has shown me or if it is truly going to happen. I get into a place of complacency and think God will just use me in the life I am already living. When in fact that is not the case. God actually has something so much bigger and greater and if I just stopped doubting and started trusting and believing he would be able to accomplish those plans in my life. That is what happened when he revealed his plan for me to move to Uganda. I started to doubt. I became so sick and thought "how can I, a person with CF possibly live in Uganda?" Then I got a well paying job. I was beginning to desensitize to the things I had experienced in Uganda and becoming comfortable in my normal life once again. This was when I started asking God to show me in wild and sometimes simple ways that he was true to his word and I could trust him and he was really calling me to do this.
Indeed God does answer our prayers. Even our selfish and silly prayers. He began giving me prophetic dreams of a ministry to come in Uganda. He started using other people to speak things into my life that were promises and scriptures to encourage me. I remember one day just asking God to show me if it was specifically Uganda that I was supposed to go to and while I was watching a show on TV called Undercover Boss there was a man who was an employee of a company who dreamed to one day start an orphanage in Uganda. Of all shows to watch on TV. And of all days and times to be watching TV I happened to land on a show that God knew would be an answer to my prayer for that day. Yes indeed I knew it was Uganda. Another day I received my change at the store and the one dollar bill had written on it, "God help the poor!" I still carry that dollar bill in my journal as a reminder that God is going to use me to be his hands and feet to help the poor.
I wish I had enough time to tell all of the stories that the Lord used to confirm for me that his plan was to move to Uganda, but I am afraid that it would fill up far too much space and take way too much of your time to read. But I will tell you that God is so faithful and he does promise to never leave us or forsake us. And we can trust him and hold on to his promises. He is so good and his word is true. It is alive and his Holy Spirit is always ready to minister to us right when we need it most.
A few months later in January I had the opportunity and privilege to return to Uganda. My second trip was quite different however. I was on a mission to find the place the Lord had for me to stay long term. I took along with me my parents, and our pastor and a sweet couple from church who all have a huge heart for missions. We spent many days with several different ministries and visited with so many people. But at the end of the trip we were still uncertain exactly where God would have me go and serve. We returned home with a lot more knowledge and a lot of ideas, but no vision or clear direction from the Lord as to what was next.
I returned to my job and found myself not happy at all. I would lay in bed during the day and just long to be in Uganda. My heart was seriously there at this point. I would close my eyes and images of precious children would flash before me. Children with no one to love them or console them or raise them to be men and women of God were on my heart all the time to pray for. My heart ached for them. I knew that many are called and few choose to follow. I knew that God was calling me. He was heavying the burden on my heart for those sweet kids and I could not ignore it. It was time to do something.
I toyed with the idea of joining a mission agency and going for schooling or training. I prayed about it and looked into many. But God really impressed on my heart that the harvest is NOW. Three months, three years, or three decades from now it might be too late. And to be totally honest with my disease I don't know how much time I have. Each day is a gift and no one knows the number of their days. I could live for twenty years, or I could live for two. I want to cherish each day and make each day count for the kingdom of God.
Soon after the Lord really started to impress June on my heart. Specifically June 6th. I was sure that something was going to take place on that day. I started casually looking at tickets to leave for Africa on that day and the prices were not good. I was praying that an organization would offer for me to come and work with them and none did.
On March 20th, 2013 I got online to look at tickets. The prices were good. Really good. The dates were what the Lord had been showing me. June 6th appeared to be the day to leave. And so I purchased the flight. Not knowing where I would stay or what I would be doing I purchased the ticket. God said to go and he would provide and so I was going. Within 12 hours of purchasing the ticket I received an email from the administrator of a baby home that I was very interested in working at. She said I was more than welcome to come and intern with them and they were excited for me to come whenever was convenient for me.
God was waiting for me to take that initial step of faith. He wanted me to trust him and purchase the ticket, proving to him that I was all in. I was ready. I was saying "yes let's do this!" After the ticket was in my hand everything started to fall into place. I resigned from my job. I started fund raising and God totally provided the way. My CF specialists were on board with my decision and helped me be proactive and get everything around and in order to go. It was literally the hand of God at work. Looking back at the past year I am blown away at what the Lord has done in my life and I am so excited to see what he has in store.
With all of this said. I am now in Uganda. I arrived on June 6th. My mom, my sister, and 15 year old niece accompanied me to Kampala. We all served together at a few ministries and had the most wonderful time where we truly got to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I'll go into detail about a few of the stories in another post because this one is already far too long.
I will be staying in Uganda for six months. I see this as being my vision period. This is the time that I am hoping and praying God will reveal his long term will to me. I don't know if I will only be here for the six months or if God will call me to live here permanently. I am praying that he clearly shows me that while I am here. I am also praying that he uses my skills for his glory. I want to be his tool. I want him to get the glory from my life. I don't want to take any credit for what is happening . None of this could have occurred without the Lord leading and guiding my steps. One year ago I never imagined I would go to Uganda. Now one year later I am living here. It's incredible what God can do when you surrender your will to his will and let him make the calls for your life. I have never been happier or at more peace. God is so good and he is so faithful. Thank you for all of your prayers and all of your encouragement thus far. Please keep it coming. At times I can sincerely sense the prayers being lifted up for me. I ask that you pray for discernment, good health, safety, people I can trust and confide in, and that this would be a time that I meet with Jesus in a whole new and amazing way. I just want to be his vessel. I want him to use me to reach the poor and those in need. I want to be his hands to show a child how much they are loved and cherished. I am looking forward to sharing this journey with you and I am so thankful that I have you all supporting me in prayer and in encouragement!
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